/INFINTE

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The sky dazzled with endless fireworks. We laid on the rooftop smoking pot and getting high. Someone played Neon lights and the crowd started moving their bodies with the rhythm. But then there was me and him, looking at each other secretly with an intensity higher than the kryptonite. It’s been two weeks since we talked.

He walked up to me and I pretended to be myopic.

“How are you feeling? “, he asked.
My heart raced so fast that I could feel the pounding in my head. My soul tasted bitter.

“You mean to ask how am I after you left me? Happiest. “
I fake a bitchy smile but my lips couldn’t bear the weight of my words. I felt numb for a while.

He sat beside me and I hugged him tight. He told we would still be friends but I wondered if it was so easy for him to forget the days we had been through. Was it easy to be friends with a person who once was your forever?

I slowly laid in his lap and looked at him.
“You had been dating her, I heard. How is your lust life? “.
“Am sorry. You and me, we weren’t quite a right thing to do. But I still love you the most. I always will. “

I laughed aloud and eventually marijuana has found it’s way to block my senses. My terrible heart wanted to scream but I shut it out with another puff.

“I used to tell myself that I shall always love the sky even when it couldn’t be mine. You know when we met, we knew we wouldn’t last. But I tried. I thought maybe someday Cupid will shower pixie dust on us and we will be eternal. I fought so much for you that my soul forgot what peace felt like. We were hopeless. I always knew it but I had found love in you. I remembered that night when you hugged me tightly and said that you wouldn’t ever let me go. I remember that 3 AM when you left my body scarred and stung with your love for the first time. I screamed excitedly touching those marks that I can look at you and take you with me wherever I wish to. And I remember when there was only 15 minutes to go for the next year and everyone had been screaming and partying in that small room smelling of fresh air and new vibes, we sat calmly on a couch and I kept telling you about so many things; I don’t even remember now. But all you did was to look at me continuously for 15 minutes. And when the clock struck 12, I smiled and wished you a happy new year but all you said was that I had the prettiest smile and then we kissed. I promise I felt infinite.

Somewhere I realize that we always know the people who aren’t made for us. But all we hope for is to save it. We hope that it will work out. We convince ourselves that they are right for us. An empty hollow is dug in our soul but we fill it up with lies. Lies that we mutter to ourselves. We know everything still we behave ignorant. And then one day we are just broken pieces. And we blame love. But the fact is we always know it. We always know the end of the story.

When I looked at you, I felt that the extremity of my love couldn’t be measured. I turned the pages of a book to find if there was something in this world that couldn’t be quantified. Infinity, it said. But when you told me that we are not going to be together anymore, I realized we weren’t infinite after all. We were just another nothing.”

 

Rae Pathak. 

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Hygge, preferably. 

She is all about letters, beaches, boiled candies, clouds, sunsets, ice creams, Mexican food, tattoos, monuments, 3 AM talks, bike rides, reading astronomy and watching the starry vault of heaven until the purple-black sky turns into a tinge of orange. 

Nyctophile, loves psithurism, and socially selective. 

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